Okay, so I ended up going to a chiropractor to get some x-rays and other screenings done for my back. He was concerned about a few things, so I will be going back to see him after I'm done with school this week.
Also, if anyone would like to recommend an OB-GYN, I'm not too happy with the one that I'm seeing right now and I am still having serious issues.
-K
Monday, May 3, 2010
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
weird.
So I have this weird tight feeling in my spine right in the middle of my back and i'm feeling lightheaded and my hands and feet are numb and my arms and legs are tingling and feel heavy... this just feels really weird and i don't really know what to do. it's not so much pain as just discomfort.
advice?
-K
advice?
-K
Saturday, February 13, 2010
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
Running on E
I need to sleep.
How on earth do i start sleeping again.
3-4 interrupted hours every night is just not enough.
and my body is really feeling it.
I am so exhausted. My whole body is so exhausted.
This really bites.
I can't function like this.
How on earth do i start sleeping again.
3-4 interrupted hours every night is just not enough.
and my body is really feeling it.
I am so exhausted. My whole body is so exhausted.
This really bites.
I can't function like this.
Sunday, January 31, 2010
There has to be a better way to do this.
There has to be a better way to do this.
...you know. the whole 'life' and 'living' thing.
I have this tendency to run myself into the ground. To go until I cannot go anymore.
I feel like I am wasting my time if I am not being productive. Eat quickly. Don't sleep too much. Don't do anything that isn't work... or else, you are wasting your time.
Well, that philosophy basically sucks, and let me tell you why.
If I go until I just can't anymore... I will spend days and days and days recuperating until I can start going again... and then my state will be weaker. And if I try to push myself again, I can't go with the same fervor and I don't have the same endurance. And eventually I can't do much of anything.
So I'm trying to learn to take time during the day to... just breathe. However, influenced by my impatience and the amount of work I have to do, it is hard for me to spend time not being stressed out, but just taking time to relax and breathe. And if I get to a day where I need to choose between my health and my grades (this happens frequently, actually...), then I must carefully weigh the importance and the pros and cons. Which sometimes means that I must take a day to rest. And while this means my academics or my relationships may take the heat for it... If I get myself into a state where I no longer have the choice and I am forced to spend days and days in bed... Those things will suffer much greater. So I suppose I am learning the lesser of two evils. But that has been no easy task for me.
I have been eating better. drinking more water. being less stupid. you know. It would probably help if I wasn't so darn stubborn. but hey! ...not gonna happen.
So there's an update from me.
It's wonderful to have everyone think you're simply incompetent and lazy. But I take prideful joy in knowing that... I am smarter and better than them in every way. (...) (!)
K
...you know. the whole 'life' and 'living' thing.
I have this tendency to run myself into the ground. To go until I cannot go anymore.
I feel like I am wasting my time if I am not being productive. Eat quickly. Don't sleep too much. Don't do anything that isn't work... or else, you are wasting your time.
Well, that philosophy basically sucks, and let me tell you why.
If I go until I just can't anymore... I will spend days and days and days recuperating until I can start going again... and then my state will be weaker. And if I try to push myself again, I can't go with the same fervor and I don't have the same endurance. And eventually I can't do much of anything.
So I'm trying to learn to take time during the day to... just breathe. However, influenced by my impatience and the amount of work I have to do, it is hard for me to spend time not being stressed out, but just taking time to relax and breathe. And if I get to a day where I need to choose between my health and my grades (this happens frequently, actually...), then I must carefully weigh the importance and the pros and cons. Which sometimes means that I must take a day to rest. And while this means my academics or my relationships may take the heat for it... If I get myself into a state where I no longer have the choice and I am forced to spend days and days in bed... Those things will suffer much greater. So I suppose I am learning the lesser of two evils. But that has been no easy task for me.
I have been eating better. drinking more water. being less stupid. you know. It would probably help if I wasn't so darn stubborn. but hey! ...not gonna happen.
So there's an update from me.
It's wonderful to have everyone think you're simply incompetent and lazy. But I take prideful joy in knowing that... I am smarter and better than them in every way. (...) (!)
K
Friday, January 22, 2010
Seminary of Affliction
Well... I'm back at school.
more thoughts on that later...
Getting my wisdom teeth out sunk me for about a week because the medicine made me pretty sick.
Right now I have an awesome migraine and really want a toradol shot in my butt. i am resisting.
There isn't too much to report, I suppose. Trying to sleep... Trying to eat... i'd give myself about a B where those are concerned... which is... okay.
My knees ache. and my hips. and my back. i get up in the morning and think... there is no way I am 18. There is just no way. I am rapidly aging or something (not in a creepy Benjamin Button sort of way but in a sadder degenerative way).
I detest the cold. it makes everything hurt worse.
I can't take a shower anymore without nearly fainting.
I think I'm a little depressed today.
I look back and realize just how strong I am. I look at myself now and think... How am i possibly doing this? and then I remember...
I have a very mighty God.
What I am doing is superhuman. literally. Everyday is a miracle. and i don't mean that in a... water froze into ice... what a beautiful miracle... no. I mean it as a truly amazing accomplishment that at the end of every day I am alive and am a full time college student and am dealing with a whole lot of other crap pretty amazingly.
I'm a little less depressed now, I suppose.
Every day is a struggle. But that means every day has the potential to be a victory, as well.
-K
more thoughts on that later...
Getting my wisdom teeth out sunk me for about a week because the medicine made me pretty sick.
Right now I have an awesome migraine and really want a toradol shot in my butt. i am resisting.
There isn't too much to report, I suppose. Trying to sleep... Trying to eat... i'd give myself about a B where those are concerned... which is... okay.
My knees ache. and my hips. and my back. i get up in the morning and think... there is no way I am 18. There is just no way. I am rapidly aging or something (not in a creepy Benjamin Button sort of way but in a sadder degenerative way).
I detest the cold. it makes everything hurt worse.
I can't take a shower anymore without nearly fainting.
I think I'm a little depressed today.
I look back and realize just how strong I am. I look at myself now and think... How am i possibly doing this? and then I remember...
I have a very mighty God.
What I am doing is superhuman. literally. Everyday is a miracle. and i don't mean that in a... water froze into ice... what a beautiful miracle... no. I mean it as a truly amazing accomplishment that at the end of every day I am alive and am a full time college student and am dealing with a whole lot of other crap pretty amazingly.
I'm a little less depressed now, I suppose.
Every day is a struggle. But that means every day has the potential to be a victory, as well.
-K
Monday, January 11, 2010
Nothing Surprises Me Anymore
Today I got x-rays of my teeth. Found out I have 4 wisdom teeth, and have an emergency extraction scheduled for tomorrow morning. This should be interesting considering I can not have the typical medications and will experience other complications. In any case, prayers would be appreciated if you think of me tomorrow around 9am or in the following days.
A Story
Hello Everyone-
I have started this blog to keep individuals involved in the goings on of my life. As some of you know, things have been difficult lately. I intend to use this to keep others informed and updated about my health. It will also include other things that are important in/to my life. I am realizing that my life is a story. That everyone's life is a story. And this is a way for me to tell and share mine.
This week will be far from easy, as it will decide whether or not I will be returning to school this semester. I have numerous appointments this week. The appointments seem to never end. The constant retelling of medications and symptoms... only to walk out the door a little more limp and a little more drugged up and a little more apathetic and with a little less hope.
In the most recent world of diagnostics... I have been diagnosed with Dysautonomia. Dysautonomia is the umbrella under which the rest of my cardiological and neurological problems fall, including POTS (Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome), Neurocardiogenic Syncope, Chronic Orthostatic Hypotension, and a whole lot of other annoying things that I don't feel like listing. If you google it you can find more interesting information, I'm sure. Dysautonomia is another one of those 'invisible' diagnosis. It's one of those uninformative, mostly unhelpful diagnosis that doesn't really tell me anything I didn't already know. In any case, it seems to be a very accurate diagnosis, as I experience all of the symptoms it entails.
I am currently undergoing a slew of tests for antibody dysfunctions, cancers, and a bunch of other weird things no one seems to have heard of.
Things have been far from easy. I feel continually disappointed. However, I have some of the best doctors that are out there. And that really has made the biggest difference.
God is good. And I am learning. I am learning a lot.
-K
I have started this blog to keep individuals involved in the goings on of my life. As some of you know, things have been difficult lately. I intend to use this to keep others informed and updated about my health. It will also include other things that are important in/to my life. I am realizing that my life is a story. That everyone's life is a story. And this is a way for me to tell and share mine.
This week will be far from easy, as it will decide whether or not I will be returning to school this semester. I have numerous appointments this week. The appointments seem to never end. The constant retelling of medications and symptoms... only to walk out the door a little more limp and a little more drugged up and a little more apathetic and with a little less hope.
In the most recent world of diagnostics... I have been diagnosed with Dysautonomia. Dysautonomia is the umbrella under which the rest of my cardiological and neurological problems fall, including POTS (Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome), Neurocardiogenic Syncope, Chronic Orthostatic Hypotension, and a whole lot of other annoying things that I don't feel like listing. If you google it you can find more interesting information, I'm sure. Dysautonomia is another one of those 'invisible' diagnosis. It's one of those uninformative, mostly unhelpful diagnosis that doesn't really tell me anything I didn't already know. In any case, it seems to be a very accurate diagnosis, as I experience all of the symptoms it entails.
I am currently undergoing a slew of tests for antibody dysfunctions, cancers, and a bunch of other weird things no one seems to have heard of.
Things have been far from easy. I feel continually disappointed. However, I have some of the best doctors that are out there. And that really has made the biggest difference.
God is good. And I am learning. I am learning a lot.
-K
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